Monday, August 31, 2009

That's Gonna Leave A Mark

I bruise easily. At any given time I am usually covered with small bruises on my arms and legs. We won't even mention the blackberry scratches and the needle marks that were made by the pokings of fresh-mown hay. Now normally that is not a big deal but at times I do have to go socialize in the real world. A world where women have smooth mark-free appendages....and flawless manicures, but that's pushing it. This weekend I have a wedding to attend. My niece is getting married. I have a lovely sleeveless linen dress to wear to the occasion.
I've been dieting.
I've been exercising.
I've been guarding my arms and legs from anything that will leave a bruise. So this weekend when Hubby brought home a log splitter to take care of the mountain of wood we have I groaned inside. I explained to Hubby my desire to go to the fancy wedding bruise-free. He said not to worry, all I had to do was push one lever.

That's all, just one lever.

As I set my plastic lawn chair in front of that lever, and before I could finish my first cup of coffee, it became very apparent that I would need to do more than push one lever to get the mountain of wood into the shed. Besides the person flicking the lever has to wrassle wood. My arms would not stand up to any wrassling and a round that rolls off the pile could hit an unsuspecting ankle and leave......a bruise!

I decided to stack the wood. So this weekend I spent my days stacking 5 cords of firewood. One piece at a time. Slowly I grabbed the wood with both hands and gently placed it on the pile so there would be no bounce. Dressed in long jeans, to protect the shins and ankles, and long sleeves to protect the arms, I methodically placed each piece of wood like a puzzle piece. When Hubby smashed his finger between the log splitter and the log I was sympathetic but secretly glad it wasn't me. I stayed clear of anything that could leave a mark on my mark-free appendages.

This morning every muscle in my body aches but I am proud to say I am bruise-free..
but it is still too early to let down my guard.


Lisa said...

Oh, I'm pulling for you! My problem is at the end of the day, I usually have bruises and have NO idea where they came from.

Good luck!


goatgirl said...

I know all about that Lisa. I kept seeing bruises all over my thighs. I wondered how I got them. Then Cora Belle and Filbert were jumping up on me one day and I realized they were the ones putting bruises on me with their sharp hooves.

MaskedMan said...

As Professor Moody of Harry Potter fame would say:

Constant Vigilance!


goatgirl said...

Constant Vigilance, that describes it all right but tomorrow I start school and then all bets are off. Somehow being around 400 children can lead to bruises. Mine not theirs.

MaskedMan said...

Yeah, thundering herds of children will lead to bruises - It's inevitable. Especially the first week, when they're all fired-up.

@JDHealingTimeOnEarth said...

Hope your mission is going well, Wendy. Watch out for overly enthusiastic kiddos at school, though! I'm sure you'll get a hug from Sweetie Pie, rather than a jumping or a quick punch! haha!

goatgirl said...

So far so good Clare. Although I do have a slight one on my elbow where I elbowed the piano and a small one on my shin where I barked it on the dishwasher...must remember to close that darn thing.
I saw Sweetie Pie, she gave me a shy smile and a danger there.

goatgirl said...

Yeah I did it! What a beautiful joyous wedding...not a bruise to be found.

MaskedMan said...

Congrats on your successful vigilance!

Melinda said...

Congratulations on getting by unscathed!!